Nightmares of Control
by YunaMustang
Summary: Nightmares plagued him each night as he slept. Words- admittance- of these horrifying sights would never slip past his lips, nor ever be whispered in the dark depths of his own mind...


**So, this was supposed to be an entry in _Behind the Scenes_, but it just kept getting longer and longer, so I decided to make it it's own story! I hope you enjoy... well, as much as you can a story like this one. Let me know what you think!**

Nightmares plagued him each night as he slept.

Words- admittance- of these horrifying sights would never slip past his lips, nor ever be whispered in the dark depths of his own mind.

He was Ludwig for _Gott's_ sake! Not to mention he was German, and German's simply don't pussy out when it comes to conjurings of the unconscious mind. That was a lesson he learned during the war: War World II, the thoughts of those times still wrenched his gut, wracked through his cold heart. He was brought up to be stern, somber, _uncaring_ by all of the bosses that reigned over the country he lived for, he _represented_. It wasn't until Gilbert took him in, swearing to raise him like a proper older brother and not let the power-hungry dictators that controlled their country twist his mind even more and have full control over him.

But the damage was done.

Even though Ludwig spent so much of his time- most of his life- with Gilbert… that didn't pull his mind from the grips of their leaders; their hands forever imprinting the young boys mind.

Gilbert raised him properly- as any older brother would, right? Always clean up after yourself. Have many different skills and be able to accomplish something using those skills, however toned they were. Never back down from a fight. Always be punctual and meticulous- especially on the battlefield. Always be logical and disciplined in everyday tasks. Gilbert raised Ludwig to be a strong, independent _man_.

However, even with all that proper caretaking the older German gave him, Ludwig would always fall back into the bruising grips of their leaders; being forced around, passed around to follow their orders.

It wasn't until after World War II Ludwig would wake in the middle of the night; covered in layers of sweat, breath wheezing, chest heaving, and the last remnants of a frightened scream still lingering in his throat. From that first night- shaking and crying in his brother's arms until the sun rose, bringing a cheery Italian with it- the nightmares increased in their timing, worsened in their terror. Sleep was becoming something of the past, something Ludwig could no longer accomplish without screaming out into the empty room- empty until Gilbert came rushing in.

The nightmares weren't about the war, not really. They were more circulated around what went on when Ludwig wasn't on the battlefield and of his (then) quiet fears of the outcomes of the war. How would the world change? Would any of the others view him the way they did Hitler? Would they hold such a grudge and hatred towards him that he would forever be an outcast? … Would Feliciano be able to look him in the eyes once he knew all of the twisted, horrible things he was forced to do on and off the battlefield? He would never admit it, but the annoying Italian was held tightly in his heart. There was just something about that seemingly innocent, cowardice man that he just…

Anyways, the nightmares. Right.

He would achieve little sleep, and the sleep he did achieve was only brought on by a warm body pressed against him, holding him tightly throughout the night. One would see Ludwig- tall, intimidating, muscular- and automatically think he'd _never_ be the one to be _held_ during the night- rather, he'd be the one doing the _holding_.

Not quite.

The only times the brawny man could close his eyes without seeing the memories play in his mind, hear the screams echoing in his ears, feel _their_ hands on his body was when he was in a tight, warm embrace. At first, he was too ashamed to tell his brother that he was able to sleep peacefully in his arms; a man should not find solace being held by his brother, by _anyone_. When the nights alone became too much for the German, he finally cracked. The moon had been hidden by the dark clouds, the stars hidden as well. Ludwig had walked across the dark hall, almost like a child sneaking into his parents' bedroom after wetting the bed. The guilt was throbbing inside of him- he shouldn't be seeking comfort from his brother, nor should he put Gilbert in that sort of situation. He had quietly closed the door once he had stepped into Gilbert's room, crept over to the large bed his brother slept in, and shakily laid down beside his older brother. Having already woken up when the door opened, Gilbert asked no questions as Ludwig lay beside him. He knew the terrors his brother went through at night, so he pulled his younger brother close to him, holding him the same way he had when Ludwig was a child. Being in his brother's arms was always the most relaxing hours for Ludwig. The way his brother held him, occasionally pressing an affectionate kiss to the top of his head or running his fingers soothingly under the night shirt and over his back, was just very comforting to Ludwig. He would fall asleep to the sound of Gilbert's heart beating, matching the rhythm of his own heart, the feel of Gilbert's breath warm against his cheek. Being comforted by your brother's arms around you was not something that was… _manly_. Gilbert had been the one who raised Ludwig to be independent, to never show any signs of weakness… and yet he was the one who embraced Ludwig willingly, never cracking a joke or being mean to him because he was so vulnerable and… _broken_.

There were also those nights where Feliciano was staying for some time. The nights where Gilbert wasn't there for this reason or another, Ludwig would go to Feliciano. He was so ashamed at first, more so than with Gilbert. Feli had heard Ludwig crying out in his sleep- _screaming_ and _begging_ for those hands to _leave him alone_. A surge of protectiveness and apprehension ran through the small Italian and he ran to his friend's room, ready to fight off whoever was tormenting the German. Feliciano was ready to fight off whoever, whatever was tormenting Ludwig, so when he saw the German sitting up, shaking in his bed he hurried over and wrapped his lithe arms around his quivering friend. Ludwig's nightmare waned in his mind, the feeling of Feli's arms around him had brought him a sense of security and comfort. That night Feliciano slept in Ludwig's bed, much like he had done in the past, but only this time he was cradling the German in his arms- like a mother would to her precious child.

Here he was, Ludwig- representative of Germany- preparing himself for bed. Tonight he would be alone. Feliciano was currently on a trip to England with his brother, Lovino, and Gilbert had met up with Antonio and Francis to go out for the night. Gilbert wasn't going to go originally, but after hours of convincing on Ludwig's part, he finally agreed to go, but not before stressing to his younger brother to call if he needed him. Ludwig scoffed as he remembered his brother's words; He was not going to be so weak and call Gilbert crying about yet another nightmare. Ludwig would be able to get through this night… He would.

Blue eyes stared at the crisply made bed, dread beginning to sink into Ludwig's stomach. Mentally shaking himself, Ludwig scolded himself for being such a weakling and made his way to his bed…

The nightmares started the instant he closed his eyes.

_Hands were pulling roughly at his Wehrmacht uniform, digging into his bare skin. Mocking laughs swarmed around him, piercing his ears with their pompous tones. The smell of body odour and sweat mixed with the heavy scent of beer caused him to gag. Pain ricocheted through his body as_-

Ludwig woke, yelling as his body thrashed around in the sheets.

"West?!"

Arms were wrapped around him in an instant; warm, comforting arms holding him tightly. Ludwig was trying to separate his nightmare from reality- he knew it was his brother holding him, _comforting him_, but in his mind it was still _them_. It didn't matter that Gilbert was supposed to be out with his friends, he was here now…

"West, it's okay… I'm here. It's all okay."

"They were grabbing me…" Ludwig choked out, body shaking and hands rising to grip his hair, "Grabbing me and… and _forcing _me. Over and over. I couldn't stop them. Why couldn't I stop them? Why…?"

"It's all over now, West. It was just a nightmare." Gilbert held his younger brother tightly in his arms, fingers gently massaging the exposed skin of his shoulder blade. It had been a few months since he last had to comfort Ludwig like this; there was no need to when the two of them slept together. Even though it had been months, he still knew the right words to say, the right places to touch.

Ludwig's dry sobs diminished, being replaced by uneven breaths. His hands fell from their tight grip on his hair and rested on Gilbert's hips, "Bruder…" Ludwig's voice was breathless, a slight tremor of fear still lingering. Blue eyes closed to focus solely on the feeling of Gilbert's arms around him.

It only took a few moments for Ludwig to calm down. He sighed softly, dropping his head to Gilbert's shoulder and glancing up at his face, "I'm sorry…"

"For what? You have nothing to be sorry for, West." Gilbert gave him a gentle smile- a _genuine_ smile that he only ever gave him and little Feliciano. His fingers deftly slid underneath the black tank-top Ludwig was wearing and pressed into the muscles of his lower back, easing out all the stress that was gathered there, "You're really tense, West."

Ludwig flinched as he felt his brother's thumb press harshly into a rather tight muscle, "_Ja_..."

"You should take a break. Everyone will understand-"

"I can't." Ludwig cut him off, "I have too much work to do." He pulled away from his brother, frowning when Gilbert only pulled him back.

"Lay down on your stomach. I'll get those knots out."

Ludwig eyed his brother, sighing as he gave into the man. After pulling off the tank-top he laid down on his stomach, resting his head on his folded arms. Weariness was heavy in his eyes, but he fought it off with heavy blinks. A groan unintentionally sounded from his throat as Gilbert's fingers began to dig skillfully into the terribly tight muscles in his back. Minutes passed as Gilbert expertly worked out the tight knots in Ludwig's back, muffled groans of pain and relief sounded from the younger man. The tightness was slowly leaving his back, only leaving behind the slight burning of pain but overall relief. Minutes turned into an hour, and Ludwig didn't even notice himself drifting off into sleep.

Gilbert's hands paused at the silence that filled the room. Ludwig's groans had stopped, and that could only mean the younger yet bigger man had fallen asleep. Smiling, Gilbert crawled off of Ludwig and laid down beside him. Red eyes stared into the sleeping face of his younger brother, a hand raised to brush growing bangs out of that sleeping face. It had been sixty-eight years since the nightmares began. _Sixty-eight years_. Gilbert was still hopeful, though. He knew it was only a matter of time before they would stop plaguing Ludwig. Due to being countries, their sense of time was different than a normal human. No matter, Gilbert _knew_ the nightmares would end, and he would be there to hold Ludwig until they did.

Hours passed and Gilbert simply spent that time watching his sleeping brother. Sure, he should have been sleeping- they did have a meeting in the morning that they were the hosts of, after all- but sleep evaded him. Not due to fear or nightmares like his brother, but because he'd rather be awake, watching his brother and waiting in case he needed to hold him tightly once more. His red eyes were idly tracing faint scars across the top of Ludwig's chest- _marks from _their_ whips_- when a soft mumble followed by a moan pulled his attention to Ludwig's face.

_Now there's something that's odd…_

Ludwig's mouth was slightly opened, breath leaving him in hurried pants, and his face was strained with… _arousal_? Closed his were being scrunched tight, a flush colored the German's pale skin.

_What the hell?_

Gilbert turned to his other side, facing away from his brother. That sort of sight- Ludwig looking like he was having an erotic dream- was _not_ something he needed to see. He was already a complete sicko and totally unawesome for having _certain thoughts_ towards his brother… They were brothers, _brothers_, so why did his heart race whenever he saw Ludwig, stomach clench whenever he saw his brother broken before him? Why did he want to kiss away the tears? _Why_?

Another moan sounded from Ludwig, and Gilbert blushed as he felt the sheets around them moving slightly, the bed dipping near his back. Glancing over his shoulder, Gilbert could see the outline of Ludwig's hips under the sheets moving slowly, back and forth. _Yep, he's definitely having one of _those_ dreams_…

One particular pseudo-thrust had caused Ludwig's hips to press directly against Gilbert's _arsch_. Gilbert gasped and held his breath, hearing Ludwig do the same. The blonde's hips remained still for a moment, then a quiet moan left Ludwig as he ground his hips into Gilbert's _arsch_. Gilbert's hands fisted the sheets, his teeth biting down on his lip as he felt Ludwig's hardened member against him, separated by thin boxers. The desire was swelling in Gilbert, making him want to strip the both of them and let his brother sleep-fuck him, but he knew he had to stop this. Ludwig's his _brother_.

"H-Hey, West?" Gilbert tried to roll over, but Ludwig's hands held his hips firmly in place- wait, when did Ludwig grab his hips?!

Ludwig's chest was now pressed against his back, his deep moans sounding right in his ear. Gilbert was too conflicted to even make a sound: Here was his brother, grinding against his ass- something he's wanted for the longest time- but then there's the fact that _this is his brother_! _Oh Gott_, how he wanted Ludwig to be buried so deeply into him, fucking him roughly into the sheets… Never mind the fact that they are brothers, there's what he was forced to do during the war that caused that small little voice in his head to scream loudly at him for this all to stop.

There were only three people- _alive _- who knew the truth about what Ludwig had went through during the war: Ludwig, himself, and Feliciano. No one else knew that military officials would chain Ludwig up and beat him, whip him. No one else knew that military officials would strip Ludwig and spit on him, degrade him. No one else knew that military officials would _rape_ Ludwig on a nearly daily basis…

The nightmares started once the rapes ended, and Ludwig hasn't been intimate- willingly intimate for _seventy-four_ _years_. For the longest time, the blond German wouldn't even let Feliciano hug him, and Gilbert knew his brother wouldn't even touch himself. This nighttime arousal- brought on by an erotic dream- was something that had never happened. He would know!

The grinding slowly stopped, bringing Gilbert out of his dazed thoughts, and the steady panting in his ear stopped all together.

"… B-… Bruder?"

_Fuck_…

"West, you're awake." Gilbert tried desperately to sound as _normal_ as he could, but there was only so much he could to do sound _normal_ when his brother's hard dick was being pressed against his eager ass.

Ludwig's body was still pressed tightly against Gilbert's, his mind trying to catch up to the current situation he was in. He had just been dreaming- shamefully- of Gilbert on his knees in front of him, taking his cock deep into his throat. It wasn't the first time he had such an erotic dream about his brother. Hell, it wasn't the first time he even _thought_ about it… so why had he been unconsciously acting on those urges? Never before had his dreams affected him so much that he would wantonly thrust against Gilbert's ass.

"Bruder… I-…" Ludwig didn't know what to say. Should he apologize? Should act like nothing was happening? Surely his brother thought he was a disgusting whore now.

"_Ludwig_…" Gilbert sounded breathless as he whispered his brother's name. His hips rolled backwards, groaning as Ludwig's hard member slid between his clothed globes.

All thoughts of morals, decency, shame left Ludwig's mind as he pressed his hips into Gilbert's rolling ass. His grip on those slim hips- well, slimmer than his own- tightened and roughly pulled them back, groaning in pleasure.

Gilbert was quick as he rolled over, pushing Ludwig onto his back and straddling him. Their lips crashed together almost violently; teeth clashing, lips bruising, tongues desperately stroking. Gilbert's hands ran over the sexily toned muscles that made up Ludwig's abs, making their way up to his pectorals, short nails scratching over hardening nubs. Gilbert yanked his mouth away from Ludwig's, their breaths mixing in heavy, rapid pants. After somewhat regaining his breath, Gilbert pulled Ludwig's bottom lip in between his own, sucking sensually on the smooth skin. He smirked at the needy moan Ludwig let out, and trailed his lips down the strongly chiseled jaw, straining neck, and along the taut skin of Ludwig's chest- sucking and biting all the way. Something told him deep in his mind to be gentle, to not be so rough, but he couldn't get control over himself. This was something he only dreamt about, wanked off to in the shower.

He slowed down, teeth gliding down scarred abs. His red eyes flashed up to look at his brother, his boxers tightening instantly at the look Ludwig was giving him: Blue eyes dark with swirling lust as he predatorily looked down at Gilbert.

Ludwig was watching every move his brother made- watching every kiss, every bite, every blink of his eyes. He had thought briefly about whether he'd be able to do this, wondering if the scars- mental and physical- those men had left him with would allow him to be okay with this. Those thoughts were fleeting, the feeling of Gilbert's tongue gliding down the skin of his hips reassuring him that he could go through with this. He groaned softly as Gilbert's lips caressed him through the tented boxers, pale fingers quickly pulling down the red fabric until they were around his ankles. Another groan sounded as Gilbert teasingly ran his lips and tongue along the skin of his inner thigh, purposefully staying away from the hard member.

"Something bothering you, Ludwig?"

Ludwig groaned and gripped Gilbert's hair with a hand, yanking his head up to hover over his throbbing arousal, "_Lutsch mein' schwanz_." He commanded in German.

The red eyed man smirked, "_Gerne_." He wasted no time teasing, taking Ludwig's hard cock deep into his throat.

Ludwig threw his head back as a strained moan made its way out of his throat. This was just like his dream. No, this was _better_ than his dream. Blue eyes opened and looked down, watching as his brother bobbed his head in a fast rhythm. The hand in Gilbert's hair tightened, and the older man slowed down, taking the time now to suck and lick and _tease_. He'd have to thank Francis later for all those nights where the two were bored and decided to fuck.

"_Sheisse_… _Ficken_…" Ludwig reached down, stopping Gilbert as he hooked a finger under his chin and brought his face away from his arousal, "Bru-… Gilbert…"

Gilbert crawled up Ludwig's body, the fabric of his shirt and boxers rubbing along the younger's heated skin, "Ludwig." His voice was low in Ludwig's ear, lips tracing the sensitive skin.

In a matter of seconds, Ludwig had Gilbert flipped under him lying on his stomach. Gilbert let out a- totally unawesome- yelp as his face was pressed into the bed. That yelp was quickly replaced by a moan as large hands squeezed his ass, digging rough fingers into his skin- wait, when did Ludwig get his boxers off?!

Ludwig bent over his brother, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck before pulling the shirt off his brother's body. His smooth lips trailed over the expanse of Gilbert's back, one of his hands blindly searching the bedside table drawer for the lubricant he kept there in case he was mentally ready to touch himself again.

That thought lingered in Ludwig's mind, freezing all of his movements. … He wasn't ready to masturbate because of the things those men had done to him… but he was ready to fuck his _brother_? He should have been disturbed by the thought… but he wasn't. Instead he felt fear rising, fear caused by the memories of those men…

Ludwig dropped the small bottle of lubricant onto the bed and dropped all of his weight onto his brother, wrapping his arms around him tightly in an attempt to get a grip on his thoughts. All of those men were dead now, all of it having happened seventy-four years ago. This was Gilbert. Gilbert…

"… We can stop-"

"No!" Ludwig cut Gilbert off, wincing as he heard how desperate he had sounded, "No… I…" Ludwig shook his head, casting off the memories that had haunted him, the nightmares that controlled him.

He gently turned Gilbert's head, pressing their lips together in a passionate kiss. The heat in the kiss increased slowly, and once it reached its pinnacle the two were rutting against each other like deprived men. With Gilbert distracted by the friction between the sheets and his throbbing member and Ludwig's arousal between his perfectly firmed globes, Ludwig slicked his fingers with the clear liquid and slowly, _slowly_ pressed the first finger inside of Gilbert. Gilbert threw his head back, breaking the hot kiss and knocking his head against Ludwig's jaw as he felt Ludwig's finger curl inside him.

"_Mehr_!"

Ludwig let a second finger slide into Gilbert, groaning as his inner walls clenched tightly around the unmoving digits. During his years before World War II, Ludwig was a selfish lover. Lover wasn't even the correct word. He would go out and find women and men- men more than women- and fuck them. There was little time he spent on preparations, and nearly no time was wasted on foreplay. However, he didn't feel that need to be quick and rough with Gilbert. He wanted Gilbert stretched enough so that the pain would be minimal. He wanted to spend time teasing Gilbert with foreplay, watching him unravel below him. The instinct to be quick and get it over with was nowhere to be found within him. He wanted Gilbert to enjoy this, to _love _this.

A third finger joined the others, and Gilbert was crying out in such an undignified way that sent jolts of pleasure straight down to Ludwig's groin. Ludwig was working his fingers quickly in Gilbert, slowing down after so long to hear the man below him beg and pick the pace back up. His free hand wrapped around Gilbert's neglected cock and began pumping in time with the thrusts of his fingers, thumb swiping over the leaking tip every time he clenched around the thrusting fingers.

With his own arousal beginning to throb painfully, Ludwig retracted his fingers, wiping them on the bed sheets- if his mind wasn't so warped with pleasure he would have _never_ done such a thing. The hand that had been pumping Gilbert was now slick with lubricant, and was stroking his own hard cock, a hiss of relief falling from his lips.

He was quick as he thrust into the quivering body beneath him, pausing as he heard Gilbert's pained cry. It took so much control to not just grip his brother's hips and fuck him hard. He didn't want this to be a painful, terrifying experience for his brother as it had been for him time and time again.

Gilbert's hips pressed backwards, silent encouragement for Ludwig to continue.

Skin slapping skin. Pants and moans and grunts and groans. The soft creaking of the bed and banging of the headboard against the wall. The scent of sweat and sex mingling in the air, intoxicating. The room was thick and heavy with these sounds and smells. It was _pure ecstasy_.

Ludwig had one hand gripping the headboard, the other squeezing a pale hip as he plowed over and over again into his older brother's ass, drawn out moans and animalistic grunts left his lips as the pleasure overtook him. Gilbert's face was buried in the sheets beneath him, moans and cries being muffled by the fabric. He rocked backwards to meet each and every thrust given by Ludwig. Being fucked by his brother was better than anything- even that threesome he, Spain, and France had drunkenly gotten themselves into. The pleasure was just so overwhelming, and with Ludwig hitting his prostate dead on with every thrust, he knew he'd orgasm from just that.

Ludwig's hand left the headboard and gripped Gilbert's other hip, pulling him backwards until he was sitting on Ludwig's lap as he knelt on the bed, toes digging into the sheets. Gilbert took the initiative, catching Ludwig off guard as he rose and slammed his body back down, repeating the motion again and again, hands anchoring themselves on Ludwig's thighs.

They were close. _Oh so close_. Ludwig twisted Gilbert's head around, crashing their lips together and snaking his tongue around his brother's.

"_Ludwig_… _Oh, Ludwig_!" Gilbert cried out into the blonde's mouth before continuing their erratic, sloppy kiss.

Ludwig's groan was swallowed by brother's mouth as said brother clenched impossibly tight around his thrusting cock. Gilbert's head was thrown back against Ludwig's shoulder, a trail of saliva falling down to his jaw as his orgasm overtook him. His arms flew up behind him, gripping Ludwig's hair. His hips pressed down and were grinding and rocking and rolling as he rode the waves of pleasure. Ejaculate spurting from his untouched cock, sticking to his stomach.

The feeling of Gilbert clenching around him was almost enough to push him over. Ludwig kept thrusting, grunting into Gilbert's ear. He noticed Gilbert's arm shakily fall from his hair and touch his stomach, but he didn't care what the older man was doing. He just wanted that euphoric feeling to wash over him already. A finger was shoved into his mouth, and Ludwig groaned as he tasted Gilbert's essence. He closed his mouth, sucking on that pale finger, all the while thrusting his hips in an inconsistent pattern. Gilbert's head remained on his shoulder, bobbing with every rough, uneven thrust. He was so close… _Come on_…

"_Ich will dich in mir zu kommen, Ludwig_."

Those words sent the blond German over the edge, and he was moaning out his brother's name as his hips relentlessly pounded into the older man, spilling his seed deep inside those still clenching walls.

After he had pulled out of his brother, Ludwig was laying on his side and fast asleep within seconds.

Gilbert looked down at his sleeping brother and chuckled, _Hopefully he'll sleep well tonight. We sure did make a mess..._ Looking down at the crumpled, stained sheets, the older man decided to do the laundry when the younger woke in the morning. Gilbert climbed off the bed, wincing at the dull ache in his ass. He made his way to the bathroom to wash off.

... It wasn't long until he heard the panicked and terrified shouts coming from the bedroom.

Ludwig could spend all the time in the world being cradled in Gilbert's arms, feel soothed and comforted by those warm arms, but that would not stop the nightmares he experienced when his brother wasn't there. He could spend all the time in the world healing and moving on from what had happened to him during the war, but that would not stop the nightmares. Nothing could get rid of the control those long since dead military officers had over him. Nothing could get rid of the gripping nightmares that would forever plague him. _Nothing_.

Not Gilbert's gentle arms.

Not the breathy moans whispered in his ear as he took out all of his fear on his brother.

Not the way they were tangled around each other.

_Nothing_.

The nightmares will never go away. Those men- their ghosts will always have a tight grip on him, controlling him in everything he did…


End file.
